Happy Conjugal life:
Besides compatible marriage the happy
and harmonious conjugal relation between husband and wife is a must to secure
better progeny.
In order to maintain a happy and
harmonious relation, wife and husband are expected to be true to their
respective characteristics and nature as defined below:
“Wife is she
Who never wipes out
Her adherence
To the husband;
Husband is he
Who through his love
To lord, the Lead,
Does not separate himself
From her existential interest
In every suffering and happiness.”21
Sri Sri Thakur points to a statement of
Lord Jesus Christ in the New Testament where he said: “Both husband and wife
should be attached to each other through deep love in such a way that they turn
to be one in flesh and spirit.”
“During sexual union the Bhaba and the
trend of thoughts in both husband and wife should be consistent with one
another. The more the trend of thoughts and Bhaba are sublime, higher and
sacred, the greater, as better and purer child with sublime nature and
unadulterated Jaivi-Sangsthiti is born. The tuned psychical charge of both
husband and wife at that particular moment of sexual congress lays a great
impact on the future life of the child. Because the child is nothing but the
vitalized material embodiment of that tuned psychical charge of the husband and
wife. His eyes, nose, facial appearance, ear, in a word the construction of
each and every limb and minor limbs of his body, his thoughts, charge during
sexual and etc. Become molded by this tuned psychical charge during sexual
union. The child is born with that and proceed towards newer achievement.”22
If any pair of husband and wife desires
to have great, sublime and magnanimous issue, then the maintenance of a happy,
harmonious and sweet relation between husband and wife in their daily life is
an indispensable factor. Because if the daily dealings in between husband and
wife is not sweet, charming and complementary, neither one can expect happy,
harmonious and sweet feeling for the each other during that particular moment
of union. As the wife possesses the Bhaba-Bhumi, trends of thoughts during the
very moment of their union, so become the nature, depth of sublimity, and the
purity of the Jaivi-Sangsthiti of the child born. Thus the difference among
different children of a same pair of parents that we observe is due to the
variation of mental attitude, Bhaba-Bhumi, and intensity of love and attraction
of the wife for her husband.
So in their daily life, if the dealings
between husband and wife comes to be sweet, pleasant, fulfilling and if the
sympathetic eagerness for each other remains normal and natural, then at the
specific moment of their union, the wife could easily induce greater and
sublime Bhaba in her husband and thus could raise him up into the soaring
height of Bhaba-Bhumi and can receive him in an eager earnestness in her bosom.
Then and then alone the birth of a child of higher caliber, greater
potentiality and pristine pure, rather unaffected 'Jaivi-Sangsthiti' comes to
be normal and natural.
In the opinion of Sri Sri Thakur,
”Mother means one who measures, the intensity of love and attachment for her
husband and the extent of her eagerness to receive him in her bosom determine
the extent of manifestation of husbands attributes in her child. Thus the
attachment and the eager, deepest sincerity to receive him in her own self is
the measuring agent.”23
But if the daily relation between
husband and wife be not healthy, sweet, and charming, on the contrary if there
exists mutual doubt, hatred, admonition, offended state of mind (particularly
of the wife) due to vanity and agonizing attitude then it is better and wise
not to have sex relation between husband and wife. Because in that case mind of
the wife remains mortified and frustrated. As sense of apathy and aversion
coalesces her whole being. In such a state of mind, she cannot express her
intense love and devotion (deep attachment) for her husband and inspire him
with the induction of sublime Bhaba. As a result she happens to be deceived of
good progeny enriched with sublime instincts, greater potentiality and
unaffected Jaivi-Sangsthiti.
In order to check the degeneration in
man and render this whole world into a paradise we are to be over meticulous as
to the birth of better progeny through out the whole world.
The governing authorities of the
developed and developing countries have adopted necessary steps as directed by
eugenic science to produce better crops, superior example of cattle and other
domestic and useful animals like horse, dogs, cock and hen, etc. But none is
seen to pay a little attention to how to develop better human beings with
sublime instincts, greater potentiality and infection free 'Jaivi-Sangsthiti'
in their respective countries. We should remember that the same genetical laws
that we have learned to apply in case of crops and cattle development can
equally be applied to develop desired human 'beings'. In order to develop
desired human beings in our respective countries, we are to pay our first
attention to marriage reformation within our respective tradition and culture,
but we must proceed on the basis of findings in genetical and medical science;
because these are the two most important social institutions that can reward
each and every country with the valuable wealth of best and worthy human
beings.
Curative measure
The preventive measure checking
degeneration has been dealt with. What is to be done with man and woman that
have already been born on this place matter? It is a horrible spectrum of a
degeneration we see in human beings already born in this world. It demands a
curative measure to render this world into a paradise.
We are taught that God is the supreme
benevolent creator of this vast creation. He never becomes indifferent to his
creative beings. He always desires his creative being to live and grow
eternally in peace and progress and He enjoys himself through their enjoyment.
He does not deject or reject any one from his creation. He must have taken care
of this situation and pointed to surest remedy for curing diseased nature in
human beings.
The most precious remedy for curing the
dissuades nature in man, as directed by all prophets the eminent embodiment of
ultimate realty is the un repelling love and attachment for an embodied ideal
life like Lord Christ and Lord Sri Krishna, Lord Buddha, Lord Hazrat Mohamed,
Lord Sri Gouranga and like them through proper process.
It is a practical experience of the
wise that man does evil or commits any crime only when he is obsessed with his
passions and complexes. These obsessions or complexes compel him to turn away
his face from his Supreme Beloved ideal as Lord Jesus Christ, Lord Sri Krishna,
and Lord Hazrat Mohamed. They are the eminent embodiment of the abstract God.
These obsessions induce him to go astray.
What are passions and complexes?
The primordial hankering in human
beings is self-protection, self-preservation, self-procreation and resistance,
to what is unfavorable to these primordial hankerings. Out of these primordial
hankerings, there arises the tendencies for eating, sleeping, fearing,
copulation and ego. Out of mutual conflicts among this tendencies various
complex comes into being. They have multifarious manifestation. But they may be
categorized into six groups such as sex, anger, greed, infatuation, pride and
envy. These six groups of complexes may be called six passions.
Sri Sri Thakur thinks, “each of these
groups is like a round water tight compartment having separate universes. The
'I' of a 'being' is associated with each of these universes”. 24
The passion and the complex are meant
for our very existence; through these complexes we enjoy our existence, “there
is an auspicious purpose of God behind the creation of each and every complex.
Many people consider sex to be bad. But, if there would have been no sex urge
in existence, the current of creation could not continue”. 25
But these complex when are not
adjusted, generally seek self-enjoyment at the cost of our being and we also
then come to be frenzied with their demands. We fail to realize what we are
doing ? Say, as for example, earning of money. We earn money to live and
maintain ourselves with required provision. But there are some people who out
of greed for money come to be at a lose to find out the proper method of
earning money and fell to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong.
Due to this kind of conduct ultimately there very being is sacrificed.” 26
If complexes are not adjusted, the man
gets tired due to anarchical reaction in his being. When unadjusted, they
complex don't make man sure what direction he will follow the next moment. As
the obsession of one complex gets the upper hand over that of the other, the
man follows the direction of the obsession, which takes the upper hand. Thus
different complexes, drag the man in diverse course of action at different
moment. It is evident to our empirical mind experience that “the object we love
so much at the lashing of infatuation, we heard at the next moment at the
whipping anger the thing we try hard to achieve out of greed, we sacrificed at
the impulse of pride or envy”. 27.
This inconsistent behavior is not a
healthy nourishment for a being. It does not help a man maintain a balance
measure in life's conduct and consequently the man fails to achieve an
existential success and enjoy the bliss of 'becoming' in life. Unadjusted
complex creates havoc to the existence itself. At the conflict between
complexes and anarchical and disorderly impulses of the environment the very
personality of man gets dissipated and turns into tiny pieces. As a
conglomeration of smoke is dispersed into small lumps by the on thrust of wind
so the personality of man gets dissipated and dispersed around in a tiny lumps
at the on thrust of the whimsical demands of this unadjusted compels. As a
result, it becomes quite impossible for the man to move towards evolution and
eternal becoming.
If we look at the modern world, we find
that at the lashing of passion of greed man has become voracious eater of
hygienically prohibited foods and as a consequences innumerable cases are
suffering from diseased and deteriorated health and premature mortality. Sex
urge has been so pre dominating in some man and woman that innumerable cases of
raping and ravishments are taking place all over the world. Thousand cases of
conjugal lives have been burning in the fire of chaos, conflicts and the impact
of damaged and distorted libido in both husband and wife. As a result of this
intolerable situation countless children have come to be orphans inspite of
their parents being actively alive.
They have been deceived of their
parental love and affection and living either as destitute addicted to modern
drugs or they are being lost in the abyss of dark world.
People like ascetics both in eastern
and western world tend to believe that these passions and complexes are enemies
to our existence. These passions and complexes must be controlled by means of
suppression or should be extinct altogether so that cannot destroy our
existence by their venomous bite. So they generally apply the process of
repression or extinction by herbal or yogic process.
But it is admitted by modern medical
sciences that those who follow the method of repression or extinction of
passions and complexes invariably turn to become abnormal and rendered to
sub-human, Instead of being developed in spiritual progress.
In the indoctrination of Sri Sri Thakur
there is no such term like repression or exitinction of complexes. On the
contrary, he advocates and insistently remarks, “Sublimation and adjustment of
complex are the best measure to render the complexes into best friends of our
existence,“ For the achievement of the healthy becoming of the existence and
enjoyment of its eternal becoming, we must not drive out the passion and
complexes but should make them sublimated and well adjusted.
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