Discourses-----Day 14
January 27, 1940
Sri Sri Thakur was sitting on a cane stool. It was
morning. Kestoda was reading out couplets written in folk style as dictated by
Thakur. Jogeshda, Jogenda, Birenda and others were standing near.
In
discussing the subject matter of one of the couplets, Thakur said, “Man should tell his wife
after marriage, ‘Look here, to look after my parents, my brothers and sisters
and all the family is your whole and sole business. I do not look for anything
for myself from you.’ It is always better to look after one’s own necessities.
But parents must be served ; you yourself should serve them and have others do
so. If, instead of this, out of compassion for your wife you say, ‘Poor girl !
Physically quite incapable of it ! What inconsiderate parents ! you are
ruined—turned into a sheep. Just think of the number of donkeys that pare the
vegetables for their wives, look after the children and run errands to please
them! Have they any personality ? If the wife gets the slightest cough, the
husband is stopped dead in his tacks and cries, ‘I’m done for !’ At this
groaning and moaning the wife understands, ‘I’ve got this bird right where I
want him.’ In such a situation, instead of caving in, a husband should say,
‘You can’t lie down on the job just for a little cough. You’ve got my parents
to look after.’ This sets woman right. She thinks, ‘Well, here’s a tough nut !’
Of course, if she is really sick, that is different matter. Then one may take
up the service with one’s own hands. If the wife lays obstructions in the way
of one’s Ideal, it’s no use arguing or explaining. Keep firm on your path. This
flattens her. Gradually she stops her twitching and squirming—like a goat after
sacrifice.”
“Whatever
I may say, the fundamental thing remains : see to the fulfillment of your
Ideal. All disorder will vanish if you are Ideal—centric. Man gets
wife—centric, lost in the labyrinth of narrow, blind, passionate, litigation,
turmoil—these all result from it. One for whom I am the only interest, one who
does for me, gets good everywhere. Here I not offered several lakhs of rupees
to people ? Not one of these accepting has progressed. They’ve all gone down.”
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